holidays, week 1

image by burke/smith

well, the past week has been very very very relaxing.
mum and went and stayed at the mooloolaba caravan park
its probably one of my favourite places in the world (not that iv been very far in the world)
i lay in the sun all day, read pride and prejudice, tanned, braved the cold and actually went for a few swims, jogged to alex heads (once haha), caught up with old friends, saw mum happy again...the list goes on

there are alot of things running through my head at the moment
i generally dont like to write too much here, but i feel like i need to...just to get it out a little
i dont know?
i want to finish school
i want to travel
i want to be truly happy

the last week had made me realise that i haven't really felt truly happy for an extended amount of time since...well, for a long time
lots of things have been going on at home, and with me, and with other people
its just makes it hard to stay positive when the world seems to be closing in on you...crushing, suffocation, overwhelming you...

mum went to a clairvoyant today, she told mum that i would travel alot, that i wouldnt go to uni straight after school, that i should do a bar tender or barista course so that i can work anywhere, that ill meet someone amazing around the age of 27 and thats when ill come home, and that when i settle down ill have lots of pets, and that i should never work as a nurse or in any psychiatric field...because then i would probably end up in the mad house haha i though that was funny

we're getting a kitten soon...like REALLY soon...like possibly tuesday :) i cant wait, iv wanted another cat for so long.
sabrina was my last cat, i got her when i was seven and she died from cancer this year
it was hard for me because before she died she had been throwing up alot, but i though nothing of it, didnt say anything to anyone about it...and it was a sign of the cancer :(
anyway, im really looking forward to having a little friend to talk to and keep me company while im studying my bottom off for the next half year...yay.

i was watching 'random acts of kindness' on the TV tonight (which, by the way, i think is a really nice change for reality tv shows!) and there was this one girl who they surprised called skye bortoli, she is 16 and is the youngest anti-whaling activist. she has started her own campaign and is slowly making an impact. i think that important messages are delivered alot stronger when a younger person delivers it...i want to have an impact on the world...make a difference...and seeing true stories like skyes, where she has so much passion and drive, just makes me feel lazy and insignificant and worthless, because i havent done anything, really...i havent actually achieved anything in my life. i know im only 17 but i dont want to run out of time.

the only problem is...i dont have a passion. i dont have that one thing that i absolutely love to do, or am really obsessed with or passionate about. i need to find it but i have no time with school.



well theres a little insight into my mind of late.
hope i didnt bore you too much :)

x